Those who find self worth in how others view them

Most of us have met people like this. Regardless of how this person portrays themselves, it is apparent to us that their value isn't where it belongs. However, that is not to say that how you come off to another human being isn't important, but the issue comes in when how one comes off to another human being becomes more important than how one views one's self. A fictional story I once heard that ties very nicely into this particular topic: There was once a girl. She was beautiful, but she had a flaw. The flaw wasn't a flaw that one could see if they walked by her on the streets. This flaw was an internal flaw. She had no self worth. The idea of her being 'good' or anything of that likeness was so far fetched to her. Again this was not because she was undesirable, in fact it was actually quite the opposite. The reason she viewed her self so poorly was because from the time she was a little girl there was always someone telling her that she was not good enough. Now at this point the proper thing to do would be to shake off that idea and move on. However, she didn't do that. Instead she started to change herself. She began to mutate herself into a crowd pleasing alien that was foreign to even herself. Eventually, this alien being that had taken over her body had become so distant to that what she is on the inside, she killed herself. Granted this is an extreme case of a person who viewed others opinions over her own, but my question is, is it really that far fetched? Is it so hard to be so distant from one's self to the point of not knowing who one is? And the most important question, do you view others opinions of you more important than you view yourself?